Through the eyes of my husband.

These bloody headaches, I wish they’d just stop. Must see optometrist to check prescription for glasses hasn’t changed. Must also reduce workload – the stress is slowly killing me. How does the CEO expect me to work 10-12 hour days plus being on call all weekend. Server has crashed, website is constantly down, need to train a junior IT person to share some of the load. They haven’t signed my leave form, maybe they won’t. We have to move house in 2 weeks, bastards are doing it purposely. Poor Jess is 6 months pregnant and has pretty much packed up the entire house by herself. She shouldn’t be lifting boxes but of course she will because she’s so stubborn! And time is short, so much to do!

Finally a chance to get back on the bike today. It’s been two days of minimal riding and my body is feeling average. Need to do at least 80kms a day to prepare for the UCI World Champs, plus hills, a lot of hills! When am I going to do hills? Need to pack this weekend but also need to train. Need to do at least 2000m on Saturday and again on Sunday. When will I recover? I can’t expect Jess to keep doing everything. Probably also need to lose a kilo or two this month, time to get lean!

40km’s tonight – the long way home but still isn’t really good enough. Need to do double that plus hills. Wish I lived in the hills. We’re moving to the hills! Can’t wait to roll out the door and ride to Arthur’s Seat with Jess again once the baby is born. If only I could get rid of these damn headaches. The Garmin is looking blurry, why can’t I read those numbers? My eyes are sore, just getting old I suppose. Feeling a bit confused and missed the turn off home, that’s strange. Which street am I in? Can’t read the street signs properly. Must make appointment with the optometrist asap. So annoying. Should pick up some flowers for Jess, yes tulips. She deserves so much more, so pregnant and doing everything. I should be doing more.

I’m going to be a father in 3 months! Amazing who would have thought? And Jess never once said she wanted to have kids, I bet she’s freaking out! She’ll be a great Mum and I can’t believe we are having a son. My dream to be a Dad finally realised! All that time trying to get pregnant with my ex on IVF, what a waste of money that was. And the abuse, why the hell did I put up with that? So glad I walked out on that mess. I should have taken more, she owed me so much. Was happy to get out even with only a suitcase. My head, bloody head. Feels like there’s so much pressure in there, it’s ready to explode.

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