A list of gratefulness

In an attempt to recall and list all of the people that helped me along this journey, and continue to help us I thought it would be an interesting exercise to create a list with a brief description of what they did and why it was so important.

  1. My Brother – my rock, my guide, my confidant without who I would surely have ended up in a mental institution.
  2. Sandra – my very close friend who listened hours upon hours to my mental breakdowns, the tears, so many tears who offered unwavering support day and night without judgement.
  3. My little Jack – born at the most important time, my shield against the world when I could face situations no more. Strapped to my chest for the first 8 months he was my physical and emotional protection against the harsh realities of what I faced each day.
  4. My grandma – who cried crocodile tears with me mourning the loss of my true love, one that I’d searched my whole life for.
  5. Sean – online through the night responding to an outpouring of heaviness that I couldn’t speak and only write. He never once said, enough, too much, and shared the heavy load though the worst of times.
  6. Andy – my obstetrician and amazing friend who supported us above and beyond looking after me mentally, physically and emotionally and still to this day continues to check in regularly. He helped me laugh through the darkness and removed the metal stitches from my husband’s head when I couldn’t face another clinic appointment.
  7. Cara – our cherished yoga teacher and friend who came 3 times a week like a burst of sunshine through the door and helped us meditate through the pain. We’d be lost without your guidance, peace and joy.
  8. Michael Doyle – Russ’s right hand man throughout the whole process, eternally grateful for your support. Still shocked you disappeared from our life the day after the funeral but also understand you must have your reasons.
  9. Dr. Mamta Verma – our GP who we stumbled on by chance at the local Bulk Billing medical centre who was intelligent enough to realise the headaches weren’t stress but could be a tumour. Sorry for putting you in the position to tell us the bad news, I could see it was the worst experience of your professional life.
  10. Chris Xanos – our brilliant neurosurgeon who gave us another two months of life together removing a large portion of the tumour that spread like an evil serpent through my husband’s brain.
  11. Dr. Ronnie Freilich – our neuro oncologist who I never connected with and resented for the chemo he prescribed poisoning my husband, he bought us another 2 weeks together although the quality was poor Russ and Jack shared those days on the lounge room floor dozing and cuddling
  12. Missy – my amazing friend who brought delicious organic food when I could barely think about food, supported me with positive messages and coordinated my husbands funeral like a 5 star VIP event.
  13. Amanda – our new friend who created and regularly brought the most amazing flower arrangements beautifying our home and injecting life into our sacred space. So reliable and unobtrusive helping as much as possible while still looking after her 3 young kids.
  14. Anglea Karanikolos – our palliative care counsellor for providing all the amazing services and giving me permission to block out the negative energy and draining people in my life.
  15. My mother – who we struggled to find things for her to do to feel useful. A very challenging relationship throughout but we know she tried her best.
  16. The Eden family – another struggle to accept the reality of Russ’s terminal illness after losing their father and brother to this horrible disease. They tried their best but I often felt didn’t want to know.
  17. Our tradies, Justin, Brad, Joel, Lance, Merve that kept my house clean and functioning, and gardens maintained throughout the ordeal. It takes a team to run this property!
  18. The Musettes – our incredible cycling club who drove for hours to visit us, took Russ to radiation appointments and out for lunch giving me a break with my newborn, checking in daily asking if I was OK. The working bees helping keep our acre property a little under control. Sending constant messages of love and support. I am in debt. Al, Bufa, James, Robbo, Glen, Jace, Mark, Dev
  19. My neighbours – beyond amazing and being new to the neighbourhood one could only dream to be surrounded by so much love and support. Surrounded by incredible women…

This list will remain a work in progress and is only a start. So many other to be added and will be added in time.


  1. What a great list. Honest as always!
    Thanks for the mentioning your neighbors – It’s been a pleasure to have you two in our life for many reasons. I’m sad I didn’t get to meet the man who lit up your life like my wife lights up mine. But I do look forward to meeting aspects of him as little Jack grows into a young man… A love of bikes is the first of many dad traits, so be sure to point them out to me as you see them!

    Nicole Hughes
    Sent from my iPhone

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Nikk, really appreciate your message! So many people still left thank, I’m sure it’s a list I’ll be returning to.


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