The momentum generated from committing to write 500 words per day is surprising. Even more astonishing is the support I’ve received from sharing my story. I’ve been urged since my twenties to publish my writing but instead it has remained in countless leather bound journals sitting idly on my bookshelf. The decision to publish each day online via a blog, with minimal editing, has been liberating especially now as I feel that I have a worthy story to tell. Personally it’s therapeutic of course, also an important record for my son before the memories fade. It’s interesting the way the memory works as it’s only now when I sit down to write that much of the detail comes flooding back like a tidal wave moving fiercely through my body. Once I’ve finished the calm is restored.
The more I write the more I feel the action has unlocked a repressed and unconscious part of my mind. As a result I’ve also surprisingly had an intensely physical response to the work. Feeling each emotion again deeply as the words land on the page allowing me to revisit the moment. Whether I want to or not it seems beyond me. The writing and storytelling as though with its own motivation drives forward with me merely it’s vessel.
On one such occasion where I was in the midst of writing with all the chaos pouring out of me I noticed my heart rate racing. Typing like a woman possessed I felt a sense of urgency to finish the story as quickly as possible. It was as though I was overcome by another force deep within. Words appearing on the screen before I gave them a second thought. Moments I had long forgotten appearing with unusual clarity.
It is with nervous anticipation that I sit down each day and commence to write, fearful on one hand what will be revealed and excited on another to challenge myself to offer an honest and accurate account of the experience. Whilst in the back of my mind I’m wishing that I may touch someone’s life and offer them hope if they are moving through a similar journey, or inspiration to feel grateful for a life they have if they’ve become stuck or complacent.
The flow on effect has been startling. Unexpectedly readers have begun to follow the blog and adding comments each day, share their journeys and messages of support. Then there’s the feedback to dig deeper and reveal more, perhaps from someone else’s point of view. Gauging from the interest in the subject and perhaps my experience of it there is a need to write a book on this topic. I only hope to do my husband and son proud and write something good.